Friday, 26 August 2016

The Rendezvous...

Hey, long time, no see. How you doing?

A couple of years back you never asked me this question. One look, one word and you gathered all my feelings. You knew how to handle me. Now as I sit miles and miles away holding scotch and reading your message flashing on my mobile screen, I feel strange. I had let you go, and let you go very easily. I thought I will be free from the snarls of relationship.

I always grumbled inside when you pleaded that we should meet. I was forced to remember your birthdays which were the last on my list. I had never put in efforts to shower you with little surprise gifts because it seemed like a huge botheration to me. I never made you feel beautiful because I thought you were full of attitude. I never cared enough for your feelings since it was too much for me to manage. I was this carefree person who thought you will be there no matter what, even if you are not, maybe someone better.

My eyes are brimmed as I sit back to recollect that day when I unwillingly took you out on a long drive. How could I be so emotionless for someone who was drawn to me, like a moth to a flame! You didn't utter a single word of remorse for my aloofness. I felt sorry later and tried compensating with several romantic long drives. We somehow always came back even after a zillion partings. But when we finally broke-up on Google chat, I thought I shall soon get over with it. I never realized the seriousness of our relationship until I heard that you got married. You were really gone forever.

For months together, I felt drained out of energy. My life revolved only around friends and booze parties. I didn’t work to earn, I just lived to live. You will never know the silent yet screaming cries I made. You will never know the battles I fought. You will never know the emotional roller – coaster I drove on. I was like a hollow man. When I heard that you will be a mother soon, there was a mammoth knot in my stomach. I drank whatever was available to forget everything, forced a laugh and reveled in the intoxication of alcohol. It always helped, in all times – good and bad.

I am a human, I got attracted to many and I was attracted by lot. But nobody could be like you. Nobody knows me like you do. You were so genuine and honest. I always wish you happiness and good health. I am already seeing someone now. I may settle down soon. I need a life like everyone. But some firsts become clandestinely adorable in the later part of our lives. A trip down the memory lane and you reminiscence all that was left unsaid and undone. 

I am great but quite busy. How are you? – I replied quite late. And that was all the rendezvous we had.

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