Monday, 10 July 2017

The Diary of a 4 year old

Dear Diary,
This happened, on a lousy afternoon, an old friend of Mommy’s pings her up and says that she should re-start writing on her parenting journey. Yes, it had a been a while she wrote for her dear parenting websites (Apologies Sangeetha aunty…but my Mommy heavily misses her old days and I have heard her talking about you so much) about the wacky, yet so memorable my baby and toddler-hood phase. Now that I am 4 years old and slowly outgrowing her lap, it has taken a backseat. Her life revolves around so much more than before. Leave aside all the roller coasters and tora-toras, there are also merry-go rounds to talk about.
What do hilarious discussions, irrational opinions, invalid justifications, unannounced alarm, soiled clothes, unwanted delays have in common? 
Its us, KIDS!
Oh yes, our community is undoubtedly cute but (truth be told) at the same time, we have the ability to grill you till you get burnt and exhausted. Call it our monstrous trait, and it is.      
  • Tattooing can be done at home – Tattooing is a rage right from babies to adults. So one day I tried showing off my skills to our charming guests whom mommy had invited over for dinner. They had an adorable baby who is my best friend now. So, this idea struck me and I tore strips of newspaper, patted them with water and pressed those strips all over my arms. I expected compliments but the whole lot broke into a laughter riot. I also gave one to the baby and stuck on her elbow but when it was found they laughed louder. It was my Eureka moment since I had discovered that I could make my own tattoos and simultaneously play in water. Good grief…these elders don’t understand few things!!  
  • Brush those teeth – I was caught red handed when I used my own toothbrush to clean the toy crocodile’s teeth. I resonated at once that the teacher told us to brush twice a day and so even the toys must be kept clean. Mommy made me understand with a string of her (overly done) creepy actions and bizarre expressions about the wiggly – eerie germs causing dental havoc followed by the horror of hospital rounds. After all the melodrama, I nodded my head in agreement and promised never to repeat (as though I had an option). Mommy concluded, “Halleluiah…You consider health a priority!” and heaved a sigh of relief. I think she is not aware about “Sharing is Caring.”
  • On carrying lip balms – I always make it a point to carry my (self-proclaimed) lip balm wherever I go. There was a phase when I sneaked it into school without mommy’s knowledge. I just keep re-touching my lips since they tend to dry out more often…argh…blame the weather Gods! Mommy says that I should drink plenty of water to maintain my soft-pink lips but I keep forgetting her advice all the time. I find applying lip balms relatively thrilling and I also get oodles of compliments. Anyway, I was again confronted when mom found the lip balm inside my school bag and she finally convinced me to filter it out and carry only what is required at school. Moreover, I overheard her saying, “Christ, now what’s all that drama from a 4 year old?” Mommy doesn’t understand that I was only trying to keep my lips pink and soft. Or is she plain jealous when I look pretty? I must find out.  
  • NO can sometimes mean YES – Several times I am under the spell of those uncanny mood swings while getting clicked and videoed. C’mon everyone has mood swings, no big deal! The moment Mommy-Daddy take out their camera, I make an announcement that none of the two should capture me. Despite shooting out these words, they manage to go against me and giggle looking at those candid moments. I finally loosen up and go running to see my videos and pictures with twinkling eyes and a lot of excitement. On this Daddy looks at Mommy and says, “Indeed, the actress tantrums are already in making…phew!”   
  • Is silence suspicious? – So, it happened one lucky morning when I was left under my Daddy’s care. I slipped into the dressing area and raided mommy’s cosmetics. I had longed to use her brand new, favourite Oriflame lipstick and Maybelline lip gloss. I wasn’t an expert so kept practising to do a proper make-up like mommy and re-applied it a million times. I used it to every bit that it was left battered and shattered at the end. When Mommy returned home, I saw her heart crumbling into the tiniest of pieces. More than ensuring if I had accidentally eaten or swallowed anything toxic, she was crying over her good-for-nothing stuff.  Daddy very wisely defended himself and me that since I was playing quietly, he didn’t bother much. I tried explaining that now she doesn’t need to worry when I grow because I am already good at doing a little makeup all by myself. She just doesn’t seem to think about my future. Jeez…why kids are misunderstood so badly???     
  • Cake-licious – When you have a broken flower pot at home, about to be taken by our society gardener, how can I be at home leaving it to peace? Why not bake a cake out of it? And so I did, putting in all my sincere efforts, worked creatively in the soggy soil and made it into a cake, all set to be cut. When Mommy’s weak ears heard the
    birthday song hummed somewhere in the balcony she rushed and lo…behold, again found me happily, dirtily playing in the mud. Whilst the enjoyment, I added joyfully, ‘Mamma, I baked a cake just like you.’ And to my dismay, she joined along to have a cake-licious day out with a happy-annoyed face. She was muttering something about the mess I made and the cleaning later on. Who cares, anyway???  
  • Mommy’s high heels – I love wearing mommy’s high heels. They are my favourite leisure activity these days. I enjoy walking in her sandals because it makes me look taller and elegant. Sometimes I lose my balance. Daddy loves it when he sees mommy wearing high heels with her dresses and skirts. Maybe he will love it too when he sees me wearing a pair of those. I don’t understand why he’s promised me to buy high heels when I am a teenager. Now how far is teenage? Maybe its not a very long wait and I will own a pair soon. 
Actually, there’s a lot to share but kids get tired after writing so much already.  

All said and done, I do agree that parenting is the most tiresome job in the universe but don’t you think we kids make the most beautiful, irreplaceable memories of life which lives for generations together. And crazy it might sound, but every parent will agree to this that you’ll miss this time the most than all the other celebrations put together.

So long...until I write again (which I don’t do much),
Signing off,

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