Until We Meet Again!

It was the last day in the city, the place where I grew up and her 1st day at work. She came running down to bid her final lines of farewell. Instead of saying two affectionate words of love, I immediately judged her in my head for the way she had dressed up…ugh….her usual, old, maroon kurta and a black salwar with frizzy, unruly hair pulled to a pony tail. Couldn’t she buy a set of new clothes to be worn on her first day to work? Even a little makeup would have done better. I met her at the lobby and all that we exchanged were a few parting formalities. I could clearly see the silenced pain in her big, deep brown eyes.

Her uncertainties were rational owing to the Sturm and Drang relationship we had always been through. I, unknowingly, found myself quite confused every time I plunged into a relationship with her. I never felt anything special when we were together, just that she loved me beyond boundaries and I felt loved in her company. I agree many a times, I took her for granted, maybe for the fact, that, she will be there for all my joyrides.

Once when she went away, breaking all the ties, I heaved a sigh of relief. It was a celebration time with my buddies and how happily I had announced my unloading of the extra-heavy baggage! Later out of nowhere, when the emotional revolution activated inside my soul, it seemed endless. I realized, she had somewhere become my strength and a pillar of support. More than her, it was me, who craved her existence in my life. Frantically, I tried calling her from every telephone booth and every friend’s phone since she constantly ignored my number. Her cold, calm and composed behaviour terrorized every cell and every nerve in my body. How could she not be perturbed! I was sure shot that she couldn’t stop loving me in just a couple of weeks’ gap. ­When we had parted ways earlier, she had madly tried every single way to get me back. She even went to the extent of involving our friends to comprehend and evaluate my innermost feelings. Of course, she was never the recipient of wonderful reviews but her love was unconditional, so be it! But then, after weeks and months of going our ways, there I was, like a foolish guy running up and down, drowning in the pool of liquor, sending her more than 100 “I LOVE YOU” and “SORRY” text messages late in the night without being the beneficiary of even a single acknowledgement. It was a nightmare phase, which had eventually got over.

So, after our short-lived conversation, she looked at me for the one last time with her kind eyes, those genuine soft looks and heartfelt prayers - to venture-adventure into a new land, for my dreams to come true and compensate for the several encountered criticisms and failures. We separated with promises to keep forever as we both turned and went towards our path. I still carried my doubts and she, her apprehensions.

Along the way, we never met, I should be blamed but honestly, longing still lingers. It is apparently veiled with priorities and responsibilities. Today as I sit on my huge arm chair, in the comfort of my luxurious mansion, overlooking a posh garden, my silver hair shinning in the moonlight, with two failed marriages to credit, children and a huge gang of grandchildren visiting occasionally but expecting lavish gifts in return, this particular innocent memory rejuvenates me. The last day in that city where my childhood is still alive, the feelings of my college sweetheart and her last glance, is as fresh as a morning dew drop…I regret for what I did but believe it or not…she always brings back my lost smile.                     
Memoirs keep us sane, so everyone says. I was listening to this number from BEATLES called “Yesterday” and the lyrics played catalyst to revive the most untouched memories of all. For the reason, it always left me with guilt and remorse, hence, safely kept it hidden in the deepest, darkest corner of my heart.  


This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’